The Crying Taboo

Hello, friends and family! Today I wanted to write a post about something that has been on my mind for a while and affects me strongly.

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I want to talk about crying. I am someone who cries a lot. When I watch a sad or heartwarming movie, I always at least well up. I cry easily when it comes to pain as well, with a stubbed toe bringing tears to my eye. I also tend to cry if I get really angry. Especially if I’m arguing with someone, and I get too upset and start stumbling over my words, I end up crying out of frustration. But today I want to talk about stress crying.

I tend to tear up when I get stressed out or feel like I have a lot pressure on myself. For example, if I’m at work and make a mistake with something, when my boss is confronting me about it, I have to hold back tears. It’s not because he’s mean and talking down to me, because he doesn’t do that. It’s not that I can’t handle criticism, because I know there is always room to improve. I just start crying because I am disappointed and frustrated with myself. And I think that’s okay.

People tend to have a negative opinion about crying or people who cry. Its different for men and women, since men are generally expected to never show emotion in such a vulnerable way, but for most adults, crying is a  taboo. Unless something tragic has happened in your life, you are consuming media that has something extremely tragic happening in it,or you have seriously injured yourself, crying is seen as too much emotion at once and should be kept under control. It is also seen as a very private event, something you do alone or with close loved ones, not something you do in public or at work. It’s too open and weak, and adults are expected to act completely put together all the time.

I disagree with that mentality. Crying is a coping mechanism, simple as that. It’s what I do in order to process my emotions and move forward. Going back to my example with my boss. I don’t mean that I want to sob for an hour, locking myself in the bathroom, and refusing to work. I just mean that I feel like crying for a minute or two. Just enough time to let my upset and negative feelings get out, so I can move on with my day. It’s a release, and without it, I end up just holding those feelings inside. This results in an entire day of feeling frustrated with no place to put that emotion.

People have many different coping mechanisms. Some are healthy and some are not. Some people deal with stress by listening to calming music or by going for a walk. Some deal with anger by venting in a journal or taking many deep breaths. Some people move forward from mistakes at work by leaving themselves a note for the future or restructuring their work schedule. I deal with all of those things by crying. I could deal with them by throwing a tantrum, leaving work, talking back to my boss, destroying property, hurting myself. There a thousand unhealthy or impractical ways to cope, and I don’t think that having a quiet moment to cry is one of them.

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What do you guys think? Are any of you easy criers such as myself? Let me know your opinions and experiences in the comments below.

Later days!

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